A lot of people are excited about the prospect of parenthood and chat about future families. Zach and I havent even thought about it but are open to it. We have recently been focusing on travel, chalk art and our dachshunds. On reflection, this is the next logical step in life and we are happy to embrace the adventure.
It all started one dark December evening. I spent the first part of winter sleepy and depressed. Zach thought something was wrong and felt that maybe I needed more vitamin D. I was going through some extreme mood swings and after arguing on a road trip we came to the conclusion that I could possibly be pregnant. It all made sense. We grabbed a test from CVS on the way home. I didn’t think much of it and handed Zach the stick and jumped in the shower. It immediately read positive and he was the one to tell me! I was shocked. I tried a few more tests. We didn’t know how to take it but knew things were going to change significantly.
I’ve had all the emotions. Joy, excitement, fear, anxiety, and anger/rage. I’m fine now. The rollercoaster of emotions is far from over – mostly in planning mode. So many things will change now. Im tired but not sleepy. I want to sleep all the time but walk around in a state of zombie instead.
Zach and I are looking at houses now. It seems like a hopeless cause to find anything in our price range that is bike-able. He is ever hopeful but I fear for the worst. I know a lifestyle change is imminent. I just don’t want to fall into a routine of driving to my home and to work like the rest of the clones in this city. I hope having a baby is an adventure and not the loss of all the fire that drives my passion.
I’m trying my best to be positive. We have only told my mom and immediate family. That was by mistake; we were dumb and left prenatal vitamins in the bag with Christmas groceries. Of course we brought it in the house for all to see. We told my mom secretly that night and my sisters were hawks the rest of the time. Then we had to tell them and Zach’s mom and Caroline.
We had a moment of peace and joy when we went to the doctor. We had an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat! It was the sweetest thing. She reassured us and answered so many questions. She said I could have caffeine – at that point I was dying of tiredness and had a killer headache so that was a relief to hear. She told us about a test for Down syndrome and other diseases. It can also tell the sex already at 12 weeks! Science is awesome. I’m very stressed about what the outcome will be.
The symptoms have begun. I’m bloated all the time! It makes me feel fat and lazy. It is just like on my period. My pants are all too tight because of it. It can’t be the bump yet because nugget is the size of pecan.
I have food aversions and have some nausea when there are bad smells. I didn’t want the pesto pasta Zach made today and I can only eat small meals. I find myself picking at my food and not gobbling it up like I used too. I guess I have to make sure I like it and then sometimes find that it isn’t appealing. It is strange. And I’m ALWAYS hungry. I need to find something I like with protein. Zach made some really great chili today. I will eat that all week probably.